Down came a spider

Just getting out of the bath this evening after a hard day’s golf when I noticed Lola smuggling something furry into the bed. Never one to miss out on a joke (especially one of Lola’s) I chanced a peek-Imagine my surprise when I saw this little fellow:

Phoneutria nigriventer unless I miss my guess. Can’t imagine what she wants it for.

Topping up again

In an interesting new take on the approach to top-up payments in the NHS, reported in the Times HERE, A leading insurer has started a policy in which patients will be able to pay an amount equal to their age per annum, for which they will bee guaranteed access to £50,000 worth of cancer drugs if they are licensed but not available on the NHS. An interesting proposition? Well yes, but lets look at the exclusions. If you have cancer-not eligible. If you are over 65-ditto If any relative has developed cancer under 65 ditto. So in fact I think this is a bit of a loss leader to try and get people to take up their more inclusive policies, when they realise how little advanced cancer treatment is available on the NHS. But of course they have a real incentive to promote the top-up approach as it will potentially save them huge amounts of money compared to wholly private treatment

Including my fees!

Lola-break out the Lafite 61. I think I may need a drink. Speaking of top-ups lets go for a spin. I may have to sell the Bentley

“Carrot = stick” shock

So while sipping a cocktail on the beach at Cannes, Lola found out I had offered her job to Ellee and went off in a strop. Which left me and the laptop and nothing else to do. I found THIS rather troublesome article. Apparently someone has studied brain activity and found that there’s no difference between the carrot and stick. Criminals get the same kick out of avoiding being caught as they do for completing a successful bank job.

Which is troubling…

Because it suggests that those who say that we would be just as effectively managed if we had the threat of losing our job hanging over us as under the current policy of handing over sackfuls of cash might have a point. Maybe I’ll pay more attention to that email I got yesterday about Performance objectives. Not that there’s anything wrong with my performance-just ask Lola

Kicks for free?

As I was getting my morning massage from the lovely Lola before being driven in the Bentley to my Lunch at the club to prepare for a relaxing afternoon’s golf, I hear on the wireless that the NAO has looked at the consultant contract and discovered that NHS consultants are being paid 25% more than they were for rather less work. I was disgusted because I thought my salary had gone up by at least 50%. Still, mustn’t grumble.

Then I heard that nice Mr Humphrys reading out an email from my esteemed colleague Francis Wells, who is a well known cardiothoracic surgeon (cue strains of “holding out for a Hero”) at Papworth Hospital. He seems to think its only right that the NHS pays him something for saving lives in the middle of the night compared to folks like yours truly who only minister to the sick during the day. What rubbish!. Mind you JH said the email was written from the hospital at 2am, which was when I was just staggering out of the Blue Summer Suite (great tip from me old blogosphere pal newmania) with Lola and her friend Marika. Maybe he has a point…

Anyway the Lambo’s back from the garage and I’m off to take it down to Cap Ferrer for the weekend (well it is Thursday). I just want to leave you with this thought: Trotskyist-turned Blairite former health secretary Alan Milburn (where are you now-all is forgiven, please come back) made 2 basic mistakes:

First he assumed that all GPs were stupid and inefficient, so he set their contract with financial incentives (QAFF) to hit certain basic targets, assuming they would achieve about 60-70%. Good GP practices are now hitting 95-100% of their targets, which is a key reason they are making so much money.

Second, He assumed that most consultants are clever, but were abusing the NHS and getting paid for sitting around in the golf club before sauntering down to Harley street to make a few quid on the side. (I fired my secretary for giving my diary to the DoH inspector), so he set consultants’ remuneration based on hours worked rather than any performance target, (was he worried we might hit performance targets?). Unfortunately it turns out that only a few people were abusing the system (and probably still are) and the rest were so incensed by the attitude of the SoS and department that we decided to claim for the hours we actually work rather than what he thought we were doing, but we didn’t have any incentive to work any harder or, critically, to change the way we work. Came as a bit of a shock to old Alan, I hear.

It’s all about giving people the right incentives and understanding what your starting point is and where you want to get to. Well, 0/3 ain’t bad. It’s just about average, in fact.

Au revoir

Not now Lola, can’t you see I’m trying to concentrate